Memoir: Spare

Spare, Prince Harry's book, ghost-written by J. R. Moehringer, follows Prince Harry's journey from childhood when he lost his mother, Princess Diana at age 12 to present day when he has resoluted to focus on creating a life he wants and the family that he has chosen.

The book is divided into three sections; the first part is about him losing his mother at a young age, the second part is about his time in the army and the final part of the book is about his life with Meghan, how he met her, fell in love with her and how they both have supported each other over the years.

Anyone who grew up in the 1990's or earlier would be able to recall the amount of press coverage that followed Princess Diana. And when her divorce to Prince Charles was announced, the paparazzi would not leave her alone. In the book, Prince Harry spoke of how he was in denial when he heard of her death. He kept telling himself that she has gone into hiding. She was trying to find some solace somewhere and when she was ready, she would make her way over to find him and Prince William.

Prince Harry held onto this belief for the longest time. He refused to believe anything until he had some sort of proof. In a conversation he had with Prince William much later, he found that Prince William also had the same thought. While this thinking may seem to be illogical and delusional for anyone else, there seems some plausibility for Prince Harry's thinking.

Prince Harry also spoke about his time in boarding school, the friends he made and the life they led. Prince Harry enjoyed being popular amongst his peers as he often felt side-lined in the family. He was spare child in the family, the one who would follow his family's plans, the one who was the back-up plan should anything have happened to Prince William.

Being part of the royal family, Harry has always had people around him. Always in the presence of bodyguards, it seems apparent that more than anything Prince Harry craved a normal life and some privacy.

Throughout the years, there have been many rumours made up about Harry. Some of those were based on things said and done in privacy but taken out of context and others were completely false rumours.

As with all this peers Prince Harry did have a number of relationships and they all ended for one reason. Press kept following Harry's girlfriends.

Eventually Harry trained up and joined the army. There were times whilst in the army, he would not be allowed to fight. This was something he found particularly frustrating as he had put in a lot of time and effort into his training. For him, it was another instance of how his life was not his own. He eventually was able to take part in battles. He went into a lot of detail about the strategies used and the communications between himself and the rest of the team.

Harry learnt about planes and how to fly them. Another big responsibility that he was given. Whilst in the army, Harry killed a total of 25 people. For this, he looked at it as being part of a bigger plan i.e to protect the UK and his countrymen. Without this way of thinking, he felt it would be impossible to make a killing if he were to think of the people as people.

Following his time in the army, Prince Harry still wanted to be involved in some kind of work. He became inspired to start the Invictus Games where army veterans would be able to compete in a sport of their choice. It would be a way for ex-soldiers to still be physically active and engage in a sport that they were passionate about.

The final part of the book, we follow the development of Prince Harry's relationship with Meghan Markle. In all honesty, this was the part of the book I was most interested in. Prince Harry met Meghan Markle through a mutual friend after he had seen an Instagram post of her. He was immediately attracted to her. At the time, Meghan was working as an actress on the show Suits.

When Prince Harry and Meghan started to date, he found it refreshing the lack of insight that Meghan had into the royal family. As his previous relationships was hindered by the paparazzi constantly barraging the girlfriends, Prince Harry was determined to keep this relationship under wraps. It would something for just him and Meghan.

However, things did not go to plan and eventually things were made public. Meghan did get to meet Prince Harry's family and initially all seemed well initially. Meghan got along famously with the Queen and Prince Charles.

However, things did not go plain sailing for the couple. Kate became pregnant and possibly very hormonal, which led to some frictions between herself and Meghan. Rumours started about some bullying going on and how Meghan was a difficult person to be around. It was also the first time that Prince Harry became aware of racism going on. He saw the comments people were leaving the couple on their social media platforms as well as some racist comments going on in the place.

Prince Harry appears to be very frustrated by the palace, his father, brother and of course the media. He feels that his true allies are Meghan, Princess Diana (often he thought that she was with him somehow), the Queen (whom he'd often go to for advice and support) and his friends. He did not feel that Prince Charles or William were supportive. Rather, he felt that they were bought into the system and wanted Harry to just follow the rules. There also seemed to be some sibling rivalry and feelings of jealousness going on from Prince William's side.

Eventually Prince Harry and Meghan decided to step down from the royal roles. They wanted to focus more on themselves, create a life they wanted and for Harry to get that freedom and independence he always wanted. Prince Harry's main angsts are the loss of his mum at such a young age, his brother not always having his back, him not being allowed to lead his own life and exercise his free will and of course the media.

Many think that this book is a tell-all book, where he divulges the most private thoughts of his family. It is far from that. This is about taking back some control over his own life, setting straight false rumours that he previously was not allowed to address and make a statement on but which had clearly bothered him for a long time. This book marks the end of his life as he once knew it and the marking of something new.

While it may be difficult to relate to a prince who was born into wealth, I can understand his frustrations as a younger sibling. I mirror Prince Harry in that I am the youngest of two and I am often put into my sister's shadow. This has been the bane of my life. As much as I love and respect her, I am not her and nor am I a mini-version of her. But often, people tend to forget that or at least, it's more convenient and easy to forget it.

I know there are many arguments to whether or not this book should have ever been written, but I love that Prince Harry wrote the book. I find it hard enough when one person makes a wrong assumption about me; imagine the world being fed inaccuracies for the past 38 years and you've been actively discouraged to not speak up about it. Prince Harry was brave to speak up, stand up for himself, his wife and children and also remind people that nothing in life is more desired than people having a right to their own free will.